Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
