My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
