Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
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Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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