dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
