we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
