The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
