Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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