Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
