But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
