You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
