You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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