so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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