tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
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yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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