I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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