We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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