fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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