u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
