Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
