so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
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Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
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I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.