I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.