Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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