she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
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