you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
