i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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