I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
