In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
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