You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Randomize
