I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
