Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize