can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
