I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
