i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
