i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
