Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
