he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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