this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
