may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
