cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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