Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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