fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
