im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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