you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
