I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
