hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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