Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Also, beer. Big fan.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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