he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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