If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
