do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
