So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
