Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
