Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
