i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
