Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
