Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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