We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Your dad touched me again.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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