Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Who wears a wallet chain?!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
