took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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