Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
