i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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